Thursday, December 12, 2013

Back For Good?

Posted by cleste at 4:21 PM 1 comments
How long has it been since I've last posted here? More than 3/4 of a year? Once upon a time I used to blog everyday. It sometimes makes me wonder why did I have so much to blog about then. Maybe with the lack of social media, or rather, my lack of participation in social media, was the reason for it. I chose to blog about my daily conundrums instead of sharing on the then Friendster and the now Facebook.

Is it better to blog? I have no idea. Sometimes I appreciate the function of a blog to provide a platform for me to blab about something in a super long post. You also have the luxury (or fear...?) of not really knowing who visits your blog and read them. It's the same with Facebook and Twitter but with the culture nowadays, people tend to like or favourite your posts so you would know who were the ones who actually read your statuses/tweets.

With the luxury of being able to write a long post, it tends to bring another thing. What do I blog about? The lack of thoughts and motivation to actually sit down (or lie down) to type out everything you have in mind and make it sound logical is definitely hindering me from actually blogging. My long absence on this blog explains a lot too. Every time I want to blog about something, I'll just have second thoughts about it. I'll just push it aside and keep it to myself. Or try to summarise everything into a few sentences to post it on Facebook/Google Plus/Twitter (140 characters! D=). I often do the former unless I really need to vent it out.

Then there's the forever addictive website with the name Tumblr. Yeap. I'm addicted to it. Not for all the cheesy stuff and all the huge fandoms over there. I use it for F1-related stuff. Nice photos to look at and stuff. Hence, I got to know some people there. I got my heart broken there a few times. I got hurt emotionally because of internet bullying (yeah, people like me also gets bullied). It's the side effects of sharing too much over there. People tend to judge. You're throwing everything in the open and letting people whom you don't even know personally to judge you, to leave snark replies or even leave hurtful messages in your inbox. That's the downside of it. You never know what will be thrown at you. In the end, I realised something about myself too. I tend to give in. Give in to some of the actions being thrown at me. Giving in until I can't take it anymore. I was so emotionally hurt (and not to mention I was under a lot of stress for my studies) that I was a wreck. It was painful. But after recovering from it, I was stronger. I told myself to never share any personal stuff on there anymore. I mostly adhered to it. I've only posted F1-related stuff other than the few random posts.

This means there's another problem. I don't have another outlet to vent my feelings. I've never had the urge to do it so far but now... Maybe it's time to come back here. Maybe it's time to revive this blog properly and blog more often. Work is imminent for me and soon I will have a hectic life that even Facebook and Twitter would be a luxury for me. But then again, I would need to rant about my work life too, right?

Maybe, one day, when I look back, I would be glad I made this decision.

PS: I was being nostalgic, thinking about the past. My old blog (which I had hid it from public view), things that happened on MSN messenger (involving me foolishly waiting for someone to come online, enjoyed looking at how long he would be online and always rejoiced whenever he started a convo with me. Of course some of the awkward moments, sweet stuff, etc), ICQ (is it still there?), Friendster, etc. Yeah. I was nostalgic. Then I remembered here. So, yeah.
 

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